HOLIDAY

I called a self declared holiday today. But I should be jumping with relief , yet I'm not. I feel the opposite. Guilt. thinking I should be working today. Is it just a product of my laziness. But now that i've been asked of numerous question what I have planned for the next few months, I came to a conclusion that it is very unclear. I see no clarity on my plan, purpose and goal.

I feel I am in chaos, not direction.. wherever the wind takes me.. i think i will just sway in that way. Or am i like a rock.. not willing to move unless by a really strong force of nature.

I am not sad, but I am going in circles. I don't know where i am going. afraid that i might end elsewhere that i dont want to be in..........

I hope this endless circling ends and get to a linear direction.. coz i am getting dizzy of it.

i wish for a greater goodness that will govern the heart, the mind and the soul. so i won't go astray.......................................................................................................................................................