date with Pops and Moms at the stock market

March 1 ,2011

I chose this date because it is a Tuesday. I wanted to take dad to see BGC. It was a date for me, mom, dad and my niece. I am glad he gave me the chance to show him around how nice our city is. He is amazed at how much the place has progressed. I am glad he enjoyed the small walk we had.

It is a milestone for me. :) I look forward to more moments like these.

Oh by the way this year, it was emphasized at church that goal determines destination.. I am prioritizing things that I want to achieve. slowly i am learning.. and still in a long process to determine what direction to take. I am praying for it everyday.

me, the teacher

after coming back from the life altering decision and trip. I was left confused and wanted a jumpstart. But God said no.. it is not that easy. If I go my own way, I wouldn't understand what path He wanted me to take. I just took a shot at teaching because I remember when we were walking at Taipei streets one evening with just our dreams and love. I remember I said I wanted to teach, because at that time I had so much hopes for the children to have a good education. I wanted them to have that. Then God gave me the chance.. believe it or not.. via Facebook. I went on a trip, I didn't bring a cellphone. Who would know that this decision was to be made over a facebook message to me. I immediately said yes.

I thought it would all be easy and just unchallenging. But I was really challenged. There was a time that I would cry . Crying over the impulsive decision I made. What did I get myself into??? But eventually God showed me the way. He never left me alone, He always blessed me with people who miraculously helped along the way . He knows which person to use to guide me and with just simple advices melts my worries away. It burns my flame to keep going and never quit. Now it has been an end of a year of teaching. I never imagined how much joy the kids has brought me. I have a lot more to learn from the kids and them from me. Their love fuels me. So Im thankful enough everyday that God is good. By the middle of the school year I was telling everybody I will just give teaching a year.. and I will not sign up again. But I felt I am not yet done. I hope I can help more and do more . Could this be God's way to let me serve others? So I said Yes again. It will be another challenging year but I will always pray for it, pray for guidance, patience and chance to serve others.

Sometimes my goals becomes clear, sometimes blurry.. it usually changes . It depends on the situation I am in.

With the experience... I learned to be more patient, to be more resourceful.. I shouldn't be spoon fed, I should be sharing to others, not just a receiving end. I also met wonderful friends that I never thought I would have.. in fact I will visit Xiamen soon just to tour around.. that kind of good friends.

life is good :P

I am glad to be back

my last post was year 2007.. time flies really fast. It seems so long ago but actually its not. I had a wonderful 2008 awakening. And just started 2009 with what I call a big leap, and a perfect timing with God's blessing. Everything just happened really fast and just fell into place.

Last 2008, it was quite a turbulent year for me emotionally. Because everything seems to stagnate and my outlook in life is heading downward. My highlight for 2008 was the sister's bonding in China for Christmas 2008 & New Year 2009. It was so fun, we enjoyed the weather, the sights, the company and the food. It was indeed a very memorable time for each of us. It came as a breather for me. I started the year right. But I am still wondering until now if the superstition is true that when you don't spend the new year with your family, you are bound to be away from each other for that year. This holds true for me in the year 2009.

For the year 2009, God has blessed my life with a wonderful and unexpected surprise that I can never imagine that will come my way. Armed with my interest for the Chinese language, and the dream to pursue post grad studies with culture immersion. Everything were laid out perfectly, the timing even suited to my very fickle mind. It came at the very last moment that I had only 10 minutes to decide whether I really want this or not. But I said YES!!! No one will ever say no to a last minute blessing. I wasn't given a long time to weigh things out, just hear what my heart and mind really feels. This is the best decision I ever made for me and my life. It gave a 360 degree turn.

But that turn still has 2 sides :) : a. I felt more alive and just have the zest in life. I have the need to search for the Lord, my heart is overflowing with gratitude that it always makes me cry. I love myself now. I want clearer vision and direction, but I must confess I am a work in progress... still a long long way to go.

b. For some who knew me being the scared me, they were surprised on how this trip has turned me into. Friends were happy about it because they see me happy. My mom is happy for me, but worried that my life aspirations and goals got perplexed. Some took it badly that I became insensitive and even says I am selfish for loving myself.

They must have an impression on their minds on what I should be.. afraid and not being assertive.

Living on my own for 6 months has taught me to be independent, to be not afraid, to be more assertive, and discover what I want in life. I have known several good friends until I said to myself that I am ready to give love a chance. But it's not that easy for me.. A happy ending for my heart is no where in sight :P But i am happy because I am learning about the grace of God. It is just too overwhelming.