pooooooof

It's another round of all failure-you're doomed- you're a lost cause kind of day again. I felt really low today. Tryingto hold up and see that there is still achance that I cn revive the trust and confidence in me. It's once again crunch time for me being imbalanced. I felt trapped, under achiver, tired and just wanting to explore life.

I thought i was okay with the way things are, I don't know what haunts me that made me feel this bad. Was it an emotion or an unachieved career or .. just being plainly lost once again.

I;ve been drawn out of myself by mistakes, unforgiveable careless actions that are kept up for the longest time. It feels like i dont want to continue..

either way I got tired.. senseless and no point of staying. Should i be selfish or selfless.. seems like I never had a place at all. I am jsut tired of the way things are and the way I am acting.

is this just a season? an annual thing? i really don't know. I've been in this circus for a few years already. When can I be stable and stand firm on something I am doing. and say I am good at this.. at one point or another It just felt like I am a beginner again and just got lost.

It's not getting me anywhere and it is just scary to have that thought..

just praying and hoping I 'll get through this circus I am in for a few years.. its tiring and its getting complicated as I age.

musings

ahhh watching the kids grow these days.. they are really fascinating.
Kids.. they can make or break your heart.

Seeing them playing together, having a little quarrel over who gets to be first on the race, seeing the friendship bond among them. It is really a heart warmer.

I've asked them how they spend their recess, what games they play. Was i like on a memory lane on what childhood is? How was my childhood like? i came to ponder on it. Actually i think it is quite okay.. jsut fine got its ups and downs.

gonna be a fine fine fine day. :)

just thankful for the great day and a celebration on life. :)
all the best

bad temper..

well well i had a brush with bad temper today.

the bruhaha of the metro manager is on my nerve today. Poor officer she got scolded and put into a difficult situation without any defense and reason.

OH my.. what is out today. its a chaotic one.

I forgot to mention I came from my Cebu trip last wednesday till sunday.
It still is my daily habit minus my computer and work load. I did not have the facility to work and lesser nags. I treated it as 4 sundays in a row.

Met up with Jed and a friend named Raphy . He's a funny one , chatty and quite friendly. He just came back from china.. blcu.. huhuuh.. i am supposed to be right there at this moment but i chose not to.. next time maybe. We had a chat at Bo's.. its quite interesting. i must say I am very comfortable with Jed now. Like there wasn't any distance barrier between friends and we can just talk about anything under the sun. By just being myself , we just can talk about things. It's such a wonder that you can talk to someone that way. Not to be cautious on what words to say. Unafraid to tell your friend how you sucked at work, how you're not feeling really well now. When i got home, my leg hurts.. awwww.. i am just not the mall rat type.

Initial D is the name of the game. not in me. :)

capping it off.. i bought a cool shirt at BI, saying "Supergirl" and "Mystical, dili weird"

made some conversations with MIna.. at last after 3 years I get to know and talk to her in a friendly manner.

well I wish to be humble and be good and for the better each day. Not to let not so nice people to bring me down.