oh I am feeling that I am back to reality today.
See the work loads, sometimes I get mental blocked on what to do next. My workaholic self is just starting to warm up. So I am a bit lazy today. but I have lots of things to do , lots of tasks to complete. My mind is still over my head and I just don't know which one to figure out first.
My work errors just started to queue up again.. I have to deal with them.
Just as what I was feeling at the beginning of the trip why I don't want to get in this. I know I will miss the previous happenings once I loved the situation I am currently in. I felt empty knowing I have to get back to the routine. I am not yet ready to see the greater green because I know I will love it there. I want to hold back where i am right now. See simpler things in life and just go about it.
Yesterday I have this weird dream that I was attending a play or a movie invited by an old classmate. So I said i can manage to get home on my own. every body has to go home on their own anyway. So after a series of ride , jeeps and all sorts. I got lost. And on the way I encountered city lights, street lights shutting off at me. and seems like everything is gonna be chaotic. I started to see numerous churches on my quest for the correct ride and road to home. But the force gets stronger and stronger that it spells apocalypse, priests and other religious leaders are out on the streets saying their loudest prayer to stop the chaos. So foolishly I ran away from the scene. And luckily I was found my sister. All along I was looking left, my way home is just a look in the right. and it just mellows everything. weird and scary isn't it.
I am warming up to get ready and go fight and deal with work and life struggles.
ideas, just wondering what its all about, figuring out the daily experiences. read on the new things i learn
Monday, February 20, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
the day after!
After getting home.
I eat a normal dinner. headed to the PC check my week long unread emails. I secretly checked friendster if he got an account. NO he is not. see this really struck me. but i am fighting the feeling so hard. it has no future. nothing to see on the horizon.. so better forget about it.
see this is intriguing. today my horoscope says.. get in touch with the person you are fondly thinking of. Is this a sign? does it point to his direction? should i write him. ohhhh man... I am so afraid to get rejected. I don't know what to tell him.. what to say.. how to start..
i wish to keep it going but i dont know where does it start , wehn you got the feeling right away. I hope I have seen something ugly in him so I wont be so interested in this person... oh beijing you just took my heart away..
I eat a normal dinner. headed to the PC check my week long unread emails. I secretly checked friendster if he got an account. NO he is not. see this really struck me. but i am fighting the feeling so hard. it has no future. nothing to see on the horizon.. so better forget about it.
see this is intriguing. today my horoscope says.. get in touch with the person you are fondly thinking of. Is this a sign? does it point to his direction? should i write him. ohhhh man... I am so afraid to get rejected. I don't know what to tell him.. what to say.. how to start..
i wish to keep it going but i dont know where does it start , wehn you got the feeling right away. I hope I have seen something ugly in him so I wont be so interested in this person... oh beijing you just took my heart away..
the Beijing guide
sound : my choice of music. from john mayer, blue, korean love songs, rnb .. all that mellows the mood.
well i spent a week in Beijing.. it has been an awakening experience for me.
Day 1: friday feb 10
Lunch at a local chinese resto , temple of heaven, a little icy snows, the amazing acrobatic show, a Peking Duck dinner
comments - I wasn't very excited when we got to the plane, with the crowded A320 . We lost a face towel and an unknown creep took the damn pillow. I was thinking.. look we've been losing some things just riding the plane.. how inspiring was it.
Our guide met us at the airport with the little yellow flag waving around like the northern star. Getting out of the airport is like getting into the large freezer. My first humor was to breathe out air like smoking.. hehe.. then off we go to the tour.
At the acrobatic show, there were koreans, japs behind our seats and they look pretty cool. I felt saddened watching the acrobatic show. I know I must be amazed with that spectacular performance. But see they don't look normal doing these acrobatic acts. I felt like they have been groomed for a pet show. I feel really bad. I know I am so pessimistic.. but that is how I felt at that time. My sister was telling, dont be so negative, i must enjoy the show and all that sort. but i just dont feel like it.
Day 2: feb 11
Started at 8 am for Tian an Men, proceed to Forbidden city, lunch at local resto, souvenir shopping at beijing zoo , went straight to summer palace, buffet dinner at russian cuisine ( i guess)
comment - tiring big day started at 9 am. the group met up at the lobby. I was at my nice green stripe winter top paired with jeans and sneakers. I just love my get up that day. Match up with green scarf and a blue jacket. ahhhh.. i still remember how i looked.
the morning air is really cold.. very different in Manila. But I managed to keep my hands and head warm. I felt the hardness of life in China, when I see beggars, old people cleaning the stinky squat style toilet in the cold spring season.
here's the catch while taking a lot of pictures, walking long paths, sharing jokes, stories and humors at the bus. I caught myself looking at the guide. Getting mesmerized by this very interesting person. i even got the guts to go ask him some questions just to create a small talk. but to no avail i wasnt effective. So i guess i just strike a charming smile hoping he'd notice
Day 3: feb 12
Jade Factory, Great Wall, Lunch at great wall resto, Sun Dong An Shopping Plaza, Yue Xiu Flea Market, Unknown and uninteresting flea market, Dinner at chinese resto with party for the Lantern Festival
Comment - passion is awake. i can't help but think about this person. First thing in the morning at 830 am , I waved at him. Getting him to notice my sweet smiles for him , paying attention to his talks while having a long trip at the bus. At the jade factory, trying to get a glance at him, checking him out once in a while how and what he is at. Coz I am not really interested in the Jades all around , so I took the time to catch a glimpse of this heart beat I have for him. Then he walks in with an ice cream amidst the cold weather.. Its just cute.
At the great wall. The climb at the Great wall is GREAT. as in enormous task. Wasnt able to finish 1 station, coz my legs are starting to hurt and my nose and head is starting to hurt too. but we got to have a lot of photo ops. tried to have small talk after lunch but no words came out, just eye contact.. i was speechless. And
then the shopping load began. First mall, its just the same as we have here in Manila. Clean. next we hop on to the flea markets.. where I started to pout just the thought of bargaining for 1/2, 1/4 of the price they offer. but they ask for it. they give a very high price and it is not worth the product they sell. So I said I will stop right here before i ruin my mom n sister's mood to hunt for a great bargain and product.
2nd flea market, i stayed at the bus with 2 buddies and luckily had a chat with the bejing guide. he is 28. He used to be rich . All his family members were doctors. He studied tourism. of course.. he speaks english and mandarin.. he had 2 bikes, wanted to buy a car but not enough cash yet. getting married not yet on his mind. all these in the span of an hour. see how i took note of all those details he told the group .
bonding moments : during meals, like the small talks, glances, smiles and all sorts where you dont go sight seeing, but people watching and socializing. its magical and treasured.
My last chances - we talked with him after the beso beso with the group. We called him for some questions and stuffs away from the weirdos and flippos of the group. then after the info interview, we get to talk some stuffs with him. and my last chance.. i shook his hand 2 times. its warm , and its my way of saying i like him.. they exchanged numbers and addresses but me.. i m so shy coz i have the feelings already.
Day 4: FEB 13
Hotel Transfer, Exhibit Registration, Supply shopping, Dinner at Strike
impressive with the traffic of foreign people. COO is quite strong, but richard is cute with a great smile and shy english. i dont want to dwell more, or i might fall again.. and its gonna hurt double this time.
at night... i am thinking of the guide. continuously... i dont know but it caught my senses.
Day 5: FEB 14
Attended the exhibit the whole day
Early morning, the view from our suite 1125 at landmark is faced with the big road and a military training camp beside it. You see how disciplined the Chinese people are. They were like little toy soldiers walking, marching, running, exercising in groups. They even sing to beat the cold air of the day. Joining the Military gives the family some special perks and priveleges. while some chose to go for the short but hard way. Others chose the long and free way. I commend the chinese government for a great job in handling its people and get to lead an emerging economy. though freedom has to take a back seat. i understand it.
It was Valentine's day in Beijing. Just ordinary day. just observed the occassion. And luckily we had left over food at lunch so we fest during dinner. And the whole view of the big 6 lane road is constantly not moving .. good thing we did not dine out.
at night... Still i am thinking of the guide... oh my foolish heart.
Day 6: FEB 15
Got back to the exhibit, did some window shopping
constantly, you're on my mind...
Day 7: FEB 16
Went to Yong He Gong, An afternoon of bargain hunting --> which I got my OC jacket and my princess blouse.. love them..
Day 8 : FEB 17
prepared early for the noon flight we have to take. notihing in particular this time. the busy beijing airport filled with different nationalities, different pacing in life.. its really interesting to watch people inside the aiport.
back to routine.. a dramatic flight back home.
with the 5 hours spent on the plane. I had a sumptous meal. Then went to retire for a nap. but i was fighting th feeling, whether to write this person or not. Figuring out if its just a crush or not. Then thoughts of moving away , life decisions come pouring in and it gets me into tears. trying to forget, move on and all things in my mind. That is why i hate being alone on long rides. It makes me think on things that make me cry.
in conclusion:
I think i felt a little something over the guide. But all i know is that feeling is strong
what is ahead. only the future knows.
well i spent a week in Beijing.. it has been an awakening experience for me.
Day 1: friday feb 10
Lunch at a local chinese resto , temple of heaven, a little icy snows, the amazing acrobatic show, a Peking Duck dinner
comments - I wasn't very excited when we got to the plane, with the crowded A320 . We lost a face towel and an unknown creep took the damn pillow. I was thinking.. look we've been losing some things just riding the plane.. how inspiring was it.
Our guide met us at the airport with the little yellow flag waving around like the northern star. Getting out of the airport is like getting into the large freezer. My first humor was to breathe out air like smoking.. hehe.. then off we go to the tour.
At the acrobatic show, there were koreans, japs behind our seats and they look pretty cool. I felt saddened watching the acrobatic show. I know I must be amazed with that spectacular performance. But see they don't look normal doing these acrobatic acts. I felt like they have been groomed for a pet show. I feel really bad. I know I am so pessimistic.. but that is how I felt at that time. My sister was telling, dont be so negative, i must enjoy the show and all that sort. but i just dont feel like it.
Day 2: feb 11
Started at 8 am for Tian an Men, proceed to Forbidden city, lunch at local resto, souvenir shopping at beijing zoo , went straight to summer palace, buffet dinner at russian cuisine ( i guess)
comment - tiring big day started at 9 am. the group met up at the lobby. I was at my nice green stripe winter top paired with jeans and sneakers. I just love my get up that day. Match up with green scarf and a blue jacket. ahhhh.. i still remember how i looked.
the morning air is really cold.. very different in Manila. But I managed to keep my hands and head warm. I felt the hardness of life in China, when I see beggars, old people cleaning the stinky squat style toilet in the cold spring season.
here's the catch while taking a lot of pictures, walking long paths, sharing jokes, stories and humors at the bus. I caught myself looking at the guide. Getting mesmerized by this very interesting person. i even got the guts to go ask him some questions just to create a small talk. but to no avail i wasnt effective. So i guess i just strike a charming smile hoping he'd notice
Day 3: feb 12
Jade Factory, Great Wall, Lunch at great wall resto, Sun Dong An Shopping Plaza, Yue Xiu Flea Market, Unknown and uninteresting flea market, Dinner at chinese resto with party for the Lantern Festival
Comment - passion is awake. i can't help but think about this person. First thing in the morning at 830 am , I waved at him. Getting him to notice my sweet smiles for him , paying attention to his talks while having a long trip at the bus. At the jade factory, trying to get a glance at him, checking him out once in a while how and what he is at. Coz I am not really interested in the Jades all around , so I took the time to catch a glimpse of this heart beat I have for him. Then he walks in with an ice cream amidst the cold weather.. Its just cute.
At the great wall. The climb at the Great wall is GREAT. as in enormous task. Wasnt able to finish 1 station, coz my legs are starting to hurt and my nose and head is starting to hurt too. but we got to have a lot of photo ops. tried to have small talk after lunch but no words came out, just eye contact.. i was speechless. And
then the shopping load began. First mall, its just the same as we have here in Manila. Clean. next we hop on to the flea markets.. where I started to pout just the thought of bargaining for 1/2, 1/4 of the price they offer. but they ask for it. they give a very high price and it is not worth the product they sell. So I said I will stop right here before i ruin my mom n sister's mood to hunt for a great bargain and product.
2nd flea market, i stayed at the bus with 2 buddies and luckily had a chat with the bejing guide. he is 28. He used to be rich . All his family members were doctors. He studied tourism. of course.. he speaks english and mandarin.. he had 2 bikes, wanted to buy a car but not enough cash yet. getting married not yet on his mind. all these in the span of an hour. see how i took note of all those details he told the group .
bonding moments : during meals, like the small talks, glances, smiles and all sorts where you dont go sight seeing, but people watching and socializing. its magical and treasured.
My last chances - we talked with him after the beso beso with the group. We called him for some questions and stuffs away from the weirdos and flippos of the group. then after the info interview, we get to talk some stuffs with him. and my last chance.. i shook his hand 2 times. its warm , and its my way of saying i like him.. they exchanged numbers and addresses but me.. i m so shy coz i have the feelings already.
Day 4: FEB 13
Hotel Transfer, Exhibit Registration, Supply shopping, Dinner at Strike
impressive with the traffic of foreign people. COO is quite strong, but richard is cute with a great smile and shy english. i dont want to dwell more, or i might fall again.. and its gonna hurt double this time.
at night... i am thinking of the guide. continuously... i dont know but it caught my senses.
Day 5: FEB 14
Attended the exhibit the whole day
Early morning, the view from our suite 1125 at landmark is faced with the big road and a military training camp beside it. You see how disciplined the Chinese people are. They were like little toy soldiers walking, marching, running, exercising in groups. They even sing to beat the cold air of the day. Joining the Military gives the family some special perks and priveleges. while some chose to go for the short but hard way. Others chose the long and free way. I commend the chinese government for a great job in handling its people and get to lead an emerging economy. though freedom has to take a back seat. i understand it.
It was Valentine's day in Beijing. Just ordinary day. just observed the occassion. And luckily we had left over food at lunch so we fest during dinner. And the whole view of the big 6 lane road is constantly not moving .. good thing we did not dine out.
at night... Still i am thinking of the guide... oh my foolish heart.
Day 6: FEB 15
Got back to the exhibit, did some window shopping
constantly, you're on my mind...
Day 7: FEB 16
Went to Yong He Gong, An afternoon of bargain hunting --> which I got my OC jacket and my princess blouse.. love them..
Day 8 : FEB 17
prepared early for the noon flight we have to take. notihing in particular this time. the busy beijing airport filled with different nationalities, different pacing in life.. its really interesting to watch people inside the aiport.
back to routine.. a dramatic flight back home.
with the 5 hours spent on the plane. I had a sumptous meal. Then went to retire for a nap. but i was fighting th feeling, whether to write this person or not. Figuring out if its just a crush or not. Then thoughts of moving away , life decisions come pouring in and it gets me into tears. trying to forget, move on and all things in my mind. That is why i hate being alone on long rides. It makes me think on things that make me cry.
in conclusion:
I think i felt a little something over the guide. But all i know is that feeling is strong
what is ahead. only the future knows.
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