how do i recap my day...
am not good today. I'm rude, impolite, not nice, hazy , mind has been blocked with idleness.
I did try my best to be early at work, be nice, be helpful. But i had some idle time.
While i was watching a volleyball game on tv yesterday , I just recalled my volley days. I just missed it. The filthy gym ( coz we don't have funds to go on a luxurious venue to practice) , the days that you want to go with a group , run together, joke around. And I suddenly remembered, I usually had my moments in the court, but somehow i just get so struck by idleness. Like i got an idle brain at a random period . And i think even not in the game court, its happening to me right now. At work , at home, maybe im just tired. my conclusion is when my mind and im physically tired. My brain says a time out to all things and just got paralyzed for a moment . Nothing that you say or do will make me alert unless i told my self to do so.
I promise myself to be industrious, to be always NICE, to be always humble and patient.
though at times is hard, i will really really try to do them. I am just gonna be thankful always. Sometimes i got this insecurities on my mind, yes i forgot that sometimes gotta have the faith. Do the works to be done and have the faith in other person.
after hearing series of dilemmas from K. I just had this feeling im not being happy. is the epidemic transferred? just after she was setting an example of me as being contented and not complaining. I mjust complaining right now.
One more thing that's bothering me is whether i should continue with the off shore scholarship application? It would hurt me again if i got in and did not grab it. I know it would break my heart again. but i am praying for strength to make the right decision and be a good person if indeed i need this.
after hearing stories of dreaded moment, im hypervetilating just thinking about it. But i know i;ve gone through it. and my solution is to just give it the best in everyday and just be thankful of what is right there. Then i 'd just follow just like the song says " You know better than I, you know the way. I've let go the need to know why, i';ll take what answer you supply!!! coz u know better than I" its nice.. just keep the faith and be brave. You'd be fine and life will still go on... just be the best at it.
pray for strength, humility, faith and good will.
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