These are one of the days that I feel like poofing out of this situation.1. I am just really in a bad mood.2. I am in a crazy and in a can't explain why I am in this state.3. Wants to get something impossible done and it really gets me frustrated.
The past has just haunted me, it started out by organizing my papers, documents and identification.Turned out to dig in deeper. My days in highschool were back, college days, heartbreaks, crushes, inspirations, regrets, got me thinking if I did get the robotics course instead of the play safe business course that gets me really no clue where i am headed to.
Am I saying I regret my decision? nah.. i want to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I just madea decision based on what I felt right in that particular moment. I say I trusted my feelings and instincts. It can never go wrong.
Yes sometimes its not the best, but you gave it all and you thought about it really well. You were just trying to be correct.
If it led me to this path, what does it say?
This whole mind boggling uncertainty is here with me again. I just wanted to jump out and scream at the top of my lungs.. and just be me CAREFREEYes call it stupidity but I may need that hard stupid bump to keep me going.I might go down, but I am ready to face it. ?!?!??And the 8-ball just couldn't cooperate just this once.Look at what it said " my sources say no", " concentrate hard and ask again", "in doubt", "not clear", " maybe" then i think "what are you telling me?"
They clearly know my plan a year ago. They thought I am not serious. But I REALLY AM.Now its really time to make the plans concrete, but still i hear and see some disapproval. I dont want to hurt them, I just want them to let me grow and fly and explore.
I might burst into a monster I never knew, I don't know . but surely it will revert backwards. It just hurts me.NOw I am also afraid,but i want to take the risk. Being the Oh play safely type. i want to prove and challenge myself that I am brave enough.
I'm losing it. I just don't know where to go now. I am so much out of touch. But I am really in doubt.
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