some thoughts

its past midnight.
feeling : tired, wanted to blog some thoughts, am jsut clearing up my mind just now.

it was a scare for me yesterday. Having waking up very terrified with uncertainty .. and dizziness.
after a while it wears off.. but in the middle of the AM, hearing news of a new competitor makes my heart sink again. the feeling of uncertainty is just terrible. Then came the unexpected guest we had, that is really scary and suspicious. got me scared. I am just thankful i pass through that day peacefully. Meaning im still over the situation.

Then things on my mind this week:

1. monbusho
- the question whether which grad program to take up.
- question of whether giving it a go or not.
- quesiton if teaching is really what i wanted.
- question if i am prepared enough or not.


2. hk trip
- not so excited , not that im not looking forward to it. but just dont want to make high expectations but end up sulking at the turn of events.
- been busy with followup docs. but its complete now as of 7/16/05
- next thing to do is prepare luggage, itineraries, things to buy, places to visit. and just enjoy.

im get really really annoyed being scolded. it just degrades me. and feels like im not appreciated . and somtimtes we do things, but are just bragged. I may be not that type of person, but it just annoys me. Maybe im aloof, i can say maybe its like that.


i hope all is well on the weekend, get a good rest, watch KRW on attic cat. he just makes my day.