It's another round of all failure-you're doomed- you're a lost cause kind of day again. I felt really low today. Tryingto hold up and see that there is still achance that I cn revive the trust and confidence in me. It's once again crunch time for me being imbalanced. I felt trapped, under achiver, tired and just wanting to explore life.
I thought i was okay with the way things are, I don't know what haunts me that made me feel this bad. Was it an emotion or an unachieved career or .. just being plainly lost once again.
I;ve been drawn out of myself by mistakes, unforgiveable careless actions that are kept up for the longest time. It feels like i dont want to continue..
either way I got tired.. senseless and no point of staying. Should i be selfish or selfless.. seems like I never had a place at all. I am jsut tired of the way things are and the way I am acting.
is this just a season? an annual thing? i really don't know. I've been in this circus for a few years already. When can I be stable and stand firm on something I am doing. and say I am good at this.. at one point or another It just felt like I am a beginner again and just got lost.
It's not getting me anywhere and it is just scary to have that thought..
just praying and hoping I 'll get through this circus I am in for a few years.. its tiring and its getting complicated as I age.
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